I remembered during the first quarter of my 2011, everything of me seemed to move like a tortoise. Carrying the big stomach in Jan, giving birth to Jayden in Feb, and starting to adjust to motherhood, I moved very slowly emotionally, physically and mentally. To be honest, what I could feel that time was tiredness. I was so overwhelmed by responsibilities of being a new mother as well as existing responsibilities of being a spiritual mother to people God put under my care. I literally felt left out in ministry.
When the outpouring of Holy Spirit started on 7th April at church last year, I was at home taking care of little Jayden. Hearing the great things the Lord did unto the church and many members experiencing holy laughter, seeing visions, experiencing 3rd heaven, etc, I supposed I would be fired up and felt the umphh of it. But sad to say, I felt even more left out. However, since then I made a decision that I would just go to church prayer regardless how troublesome it would be.
On the next prayer on 15th April, I spent most of the time in the nursery room, while hearing from the inside all the manifestation that happened outside the room. Again, I felt left out. I even meditated the thoughts “What's the point I come but can't truly participate?”
Ps.David decided to screen The Glory School of Patricia King to the whole church from 19th April onwards. During one of the sessions, we were all led to have time with the Lord, and let Him do what He wanted to do. I heard Him speaking.
“Jadeline, stop feeling left out as I never leave you outside My kingdom. You are already in it. But is your choice to feel ‘left out’ or feel ‘in it’. Many of my children couldn’t take what it costs to be in it, and they conclude they are left out. If you feel left out, it only means you are afraid. You are afraid of not being in it. So you start to reason that you are left out, you sort of comfort yourself fakely. Just to support your own self-pity or fear. You fear of not knowing whether you will be in it successfully. You fear whether you will be able to catch up with the rest who experience more now. You fear of the unknown. You fear of not being comfortable. So does feeling left out actually help you? No! It does help in the sense of freeing you of going deeper, but that only means you will really be left out. You rather not participate because you fear if you participate you won’t get what you want. You fear of failure. You fear of responsibilities place upon that you can’t do well.”
My FIRST TOUCH of the Lord during revival last year was not experiencing 3rd heaven, not laughing uncontrollably, not falling under His power, not shaking under His power, but is being refined by His fire the way I think, the way I reason, the way I act. I felt ironically puzzled that since I had learned a lot & had served God for so many years, why still had a lot to be refined? The Lord being my Comforter simply tells me, “You are just as human as the others. Just as you give support and counsel and prayer to many who are in transition and who feel weak & tired, you too are in transition now, and I am going to help you. Everyone will go through some season sof transition in their life.”
I thank God being my Refiner, my Provider (esp joy & strength), my Teacher, my Comforter, my Refresher.
Soon (May onwards), I felt myself ‘IN IT’ again. I no longer easily felt left out, and start to feel the power surging from inside me, not suddenly but gradually. I took Ps.Gloria’s advice of praying in the spirit while feeding and putting baby to sleep. By that time, I was still breastfeeding the baby, and Jayden needed to be fed every 1.5 hour, that was why the insufficient sleep. I had changed to be become more positive minded than negative. In my ‘IN IT’ gear, I got rid of my complaint of tiredness & I would pray in spirit silently while taking care of Jayden to get supernatural strength. And it worked! Truly, complaining is the engaging force to feeling weak & bitter, whereas giving thanks is the anchor to positive things & power. During one the mentoring with Ps.David, at the ending he prayed for all the mothers in our church, I felt such a gush of energy and encouragement & faith arised from within. Truly it is my privilege to submit under my spiritual leader’s covering. Hebrews 13:17 is what Holy Spirit taught ever since I joined WHC and it has become my practice and I am really blessed when I honor my spiritual leaders (of course also honor one another).
Since then, Holy Spirit continues to teach me again and again, renewing many of my old wineskins. Being a minister of God that is so pastoral for many years, I had missed out the powerful and supernatural part of God. In all the years I served God, I only partake of the comforting part of Him, the nurturing part of Him, and the encouraging part of Him. God told me that He doesn’t want me to only experience the mother nature of Him. But He also wants me to experience the Father part of Him. Not only that, the Kingly part of Him. The authoritative part of Him. The supernatural part of Him. The bombastic part of Him.
Overall, last year was a year where God revealed more of Himself to me, but I have got to let go many of my limited ideas about Him.
Jadeline’s idea about God is: God = love. And my definition of love = caring, comforting, nurturing, encouraging, grace.
God being God-ly enough came into my ‘love’ definition and added some new definition to it.
God is love. His Love = caring, comforting, nurturing, encouraging, transforming, healing, signs & wonders, supernatural heavenly touch, prophetic words, sozo, glory… and more that He will add on this year.
Just one requirement: NEVER FEEL LEFT OUT! As it is a form of self-pity; or fear of participation yet not knowing what will be the outcome and not knowing how people will acknowledge you; or fearing of you yourself failing yourself and your own’s expectation.
Be IN IT! & Flow WITH IT.
2012 let it be MORE.
Moving On Resisting Emulators.
Verses I pondered a lot:
Colossians 3:12-17 (NKJV),
Ephesians 4:11-16 (NLT)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Extravagant Worshiper. Extravagant Worship.
We all know this sinful woman in the Bible whom we always talked about or preachers like to preach about.
Luke 7:37-38 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. (NIV)
Though she is sinful, but her selfless display of extravagant worship changed how everyone remembers her. The way she adored Jesus was way above most of us. Despite the fact that she was sinful and not supposed to be present there, she braved her way there to meet Jesus to show her deep appreciation, admiration and adoration for Him. She could go so low and forfeit her self-image by wetting Jesus’ feet with her tears and then wiping them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. It was believed that an alabaster jar of perfume in those time actually cost her one year’s wages. Imagine you give away your one year’s salary to the Lord. Imagine you wipe Jesus’ feet with your beautifully-styled hair. The emphasis here is not so much so of her action, but her heart of worship and total adoration towards Jesus.
In Webster’s dictionary, ‘extravagant’ can be defined as:
1. Exceeding the limits of reason
2. Lacking in moderation, balance and restraint
3. Extremely or excessively elaborate
4. Spending much than necessary
5. Profuse lavish
Why do we need to be extravagant in our worship? Why do we want to be extravagant worshiper?
It is not to impress people. It is not for looking good. It is not for looking committed. It is not even to earn His love. It is because Jesus had first loved us. When He died for us at the cross, it exceeded the limits of reason. How could a sinless man-God find any worthwhile reason to die for sinners who don’t even know Him, and some even mocked Him? There is no other reason but having extravagant love for us. John 3:16 says for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Couldn’t He be a bit more balance and moderate, perhaps just die for those who will follow him, and do not bother about those who won’t follow Him? But no, He died and took the punishment of sin for the all humankind. How else to describe this except that He has extreme and excessive elaborate love for us.
Jesus knew that the woman is a sinner, but He never despised her. Despite the crowd’s pressure, He didn’t compromise. In fact He commented good about her.
Let us continue to read the following story:
Luke 7:39-50 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said.
“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[a] and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss [on the cheek], but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Today as we worship, we are to worship Him in truth. Ask yourself these few questions:
How big are the debts Jesus canceled for me? How generous was He towards me when consider the pain my sins inflicted upon Him? How much thanks do I owe Him for cancelling the consequence of my past? Am I generous in my worship? Or am I calculative and just be extravagant in worship when it is convenient? Do I exceed reasonable limits when praise Him? Or am I merely doing what is required, fulfilling the basic commitment? Am I trying to earn my right of acceptance in the church, so I follow the congregation and worship? Do I only worship at church to look good for other people to see? Do I worship just to get more power, more anointing, more miracles, but don’t really have personal intimacy with Jesus? Do I worship only when I like that particular worship leader or that particular song? Do I worship only when worship leader is around, or my pastor is around? Am I trying to act out like a real great worshipper so that I can join worship team?
So what is worship? And what are we doing when we worship?
John 4:23-24 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”
True worship is not defined by action or songs, nothing of the outward. True worship is when one’s spirit adores and connects with the spirit of God, when the very core of one’s being is found loving Him, lost in Him. Good worship is not about songs, band or the size of choir (though music is a wonderful expression of worship, and great music at church causes our friends to go “Wow, is this church? Gosh! I didn’t know music at church is so awesome and kicking! And I didn’t need to spend a penny, what a waste of my so many nights at disco man!!”
True worship is one’s total heart and complete soul, all that is within, adores and connects to the spirit of God. It is not how high we lifted up our hands, or how jumpy we can go, or how loud we can sing (though when we are in our intense expression of hearts to God in our singing, it does cause us to just want to reach out to God and so we lift up our hands up high, it does cause us to be so excited about the awesomeness of God that our legs can’t help but just go jumping, and our lungs can’t restraint but just use up all the air inside and sing aloud to God!).
Therefore, we can never judge who really has a heart of worship and who is not. We can never conclude by just judging from outward action who is a real extravagant worshiper. And we are not suppose to judge anyone, God says. Only God knows. Only God sees our heart. A sinner like that woman whom were judged by many as “sinner”, can be to God a true worshipper. So we as His beloved sons and daughters, redeemed by His precious life, we do our part and respond to Him by being an extravagant worshiper and bringing Him extravagant worship.
All this come back to our relationship Jesus. Even now in this generation, the definition of relationship is very vague, which mostly are judged merely by the outward expression, and it can be equated as true relationship even though hearts are not involved.
Therefore, even if you are part of the worship team, your most glorious moments of worship should be off the stage when you are alone with God – our one-to-one intimate time with God, undistracted – our total focus and attention on Him – giving our undivided heart when we pray, when we read bible and when we soak in His presence.
Heartfelt intimacy is private. Just like your precious time with your best friend is not in the public moment, but when you are alone with him or her.
Ps. David taught us about soaking – how to be in His presence, totally be filled by His spirit, completely surrender for Holy Spirit to lead us – and he taught us that soaking is not only during church prayer (House of Prayer for All Nations), but it is a daily thing. HOPFAN is when we gather as a church and come into corporate prayer and soaking for church, for nation/s, for the benefit of all, but in our daily life, we should have soaking too.
Worship is always ties with LOVE and OBEDIENCE.
You cannot say you love to worship God and that you are a true worshipper but you do not love to do His works. You cannot say you are an extravagant worshiper if you still hate or reject your fellow church members.
An extravagant worshiper that have extravagant worship with Jesus will be so overwhelmed by His heart, will be so immersed in His love, and will be so overflowing with His character that he can’t resist but to want to do something for God (not self), to love one another, to forgive all, to restore all, to see the sick healed, the see the blind walk, and to see the bound be set free. He will love his church just like Jesus loves his church and other churches. He will love his pastor just like Jesus loves His pastor that He appoints Him to be one. He will love his fellow brethren just like Jesus loves them that He saves them. He will love the lost just like Jesus. He will love all. Though our love is not comparison with Jesus’ love, but at least, we will love and not hate or despise or reject or prejudice or bias.
He will also serve God with whole heart and not complaint, just like Jesus never complains when He loves us. In fact He loves us all out till He needs to die on the cross to break the covenant of law, and bring in the covenant of grace unto humankind.
Therefore, because Jesus first loved us, let us be extravagant worshipers that bring extravagant worship to Him. Love Jesus all out. Praise Jesus at all times. Obey Him and do what pleases Him at all times. Embrace what He asks us to embrace. Embrace His power, authority, kingdom and glory which He wants them to be displayed through us. Discard whatever characters and attitude that does not please Him. Love what He loves. Love who He loves. Display Jesus in our life.
Be EW2.
Luke 7:37-38 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. (NIV)
Though she is sinful, but her selfless display of extravagant worship changed how everyone remembers her. The way she adored Jesus was way above most of us. Despite the fact that she was sinful and not supposed to be present there, she braved her way there to meet Jesus to show her deep appreciation, admiration and adoration for Him. She could go so low and forfeit her self-image by wetting Jesus’ feet with her tears and then wiping them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. It was believed that an alabaster jar of perfume in those time actually cost her one year’s wages. Imagine you give away your one year’s salary to the Lord. Imagine you wipe Jesus’ feet with your beautifully-styled hair. The emphasis here is not so much so of her action, but her heart of worship and total adoration towards Jesus.
In Webster’s dictionary, ‘extravagant’ can be defined as:
1. Exceeding the limits of reason
2. Lacking in moderation, balance and restraint
3. Extremely or excessively elaborate
4. Spending much than necessary
5. Profuse lavish
Why do we need to be extravagant in our worship? Why do we want to be extravagant worshiper?
It is not to impress people. It is not for looking good. It is not for looking committed. It is not even to earn His love. It is because Jesus had first loved us. When He died for us at the cross, it exceeded the limits of reason. How could a sinless man-God find any worthwhile reason to die for sinners who don’t even know Him, and some even mocked Him? There is no other reason but having extravagant love for us. John 3:16 says for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Couldn’t He be a bit more balance and moderate, perhaps just die for those who will follow him, and do not bother about those who won’t follow Him? But no, He died and took the punishment of sin for the all humankind. How else to describe this except that He has extreme and excessive elaborate love for us.
Jesus knew that the woman is a sinner, but He never despised her. Despite the crowd’s pressure, He didn’t compromise. In fact He commented good about her.
Let us continue to read the following story:
Luke 7:39-50 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said.
“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[a] and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss [on the cheek], but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Today as we worship, we are to worship Him in truth. Ask yourself these few questions:
How big are the debts Jesus canceled for me? How generous was He towards me when consider the pain my sins inflicted upon Him? How much thanks do I owe Him for cancelling the consequence of my past? Am I generous in my worship? Or am I calculative and just be extravagant in worship when it is convenient? Do I exceed reasonable limits when praise Him? Or am I merely doing what is required, fulfilling the basic commitment? Am I trying to earn my right of acceptance in the church, so I follow the congregation and worship? Do I only worship at church to look good for other people to see? Do I worship just to get more power, more anointing, more miracles, but don’t really have personal intimacy with Jesus? Do I worship only when I like that particular worship leader or that particular song? Do I worship only when worship leader is around, or my pastor is around? Am I trying to act out like a real great worshipper so that I can join worship team?
So what is worship? And what are we doing when we worship?
John 4:23-24 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”
True worship is not defined by action or songs, nothing of the outward. True worship is when one’s spirit adores and connects with the spirit of God, when the very core of one’s being is found loving Him, lost in Him. Good worship is not about songs, band or the size of choir (though music is a wonderful expression of worship, and great music at church causes our friends to go “Wow, is this church? Gosh! I didn’t know music at church is so awesome and kicking! And I didn’t need to spend a penny, what a waste of my so many nights at disco man!!”
True worship is one’s total heart and complete soul, all that is within, adores and connects to the spirit of God. It is not how high we lifted up our hands, or how jumpy we can go, or how loud we can sing (though when we are in our intense expression of hearts to God in our singing, it does cause us to just want to reach out to God and so we lift up our hands up high, it does cause us to be so excited about the awesomeness of God that our legs can’t help but just go jumping, and our lungs can’t restraint but just use up all the air inside and sing aloud to God!).
Therefore, we can never judge who really has a heart of worship and who is not. We can never conclude by just judging from outward action who is a real extravagant worshiper. And we are not suppose to judge anyone, God says. Only God knows. Only God sees our heart. A sinner like that woman whom were judged by many as “sinner”, can be to God a true worshipper. So we as His beloved sons and daughters, redeemed by His precious life, we do our part and respond to Him by being an extravagant worshiper and bringing Him extravagant worship.
All this come back to our relationship Jesus. Even now in this generation, the definition of relationship is very vague, which mostly are judged merely by the outward expression, and it can be equated as true relationship even though hearts are not involved.
Therefore, even if you are part of the worship team, your most glorious moments of worship should be off the stage when you are alone with God – our one-to-one intimate time with God, undistracted – our total focus and attention on Him – giving our undivided heart when we pray, when we read bible and when we soak in His presence.
Heartfelt intimacy is private. Just like your precious time with your best friend is not in the public moment, but when you are alone with him or her.
Ps. David taught us about soaking – how to be in His presence, totally be filled by His spirit, completely surrender for Holy Spirit to lead us – and he taught us that soaking is not only during church prayer (House of Prayer for All Nations), but it is a daily thing. HOPFAN is when we gather as a church and come into corporate prayer and soaking for church, for nation/s, for the benefit of all, but in our daily life, we should have soaking too.
Worship is always ties with LOVE and OBEDIENCE.
You cannot say you love to worship God and that you are a true worshipper but you do not love to do His works. You cannot say you are an extravagant worshiper if you still hate or reject your fellow church members.
An extravagant worshiper that have extravagant worship with Jesus will be so overwhelmed by His heart, will be so immersed in His love, and will be so overflowing with His character that he can’t resist but to want to do something for God (not self), to love one another, to forgive all, to restore all, to see the sick healed, the see the blind walk, and to see the bound be set free. He will love his church just like Jesus loves his church and other churches. He will love his pastor just like Jesus loves His pastor that He appoints Him to be one. He will love his fellow brethren just like Jesus loves them that He saves them. He will love the lost just like Jesus. He will love all. Though our love is not comparison with Jesus’ love, but at least, we will love and not hate or despise or reject or prejudice or bias.
He will also serve God with whole heart and not complaint, just like Jesus never complains when He loves us. In fact He loves us all out till He needs to die on the cross to break the covenant of law, and bring in the covenant of grace unto humankind.
Therefore, because Jesus first loved us, let us be extravagant worshipers that bring extravagant worship to Him. Love Jesus all out. Praise Jesus at all times. Obey Him and do what pleases Him at all times. Embrace what He asks us to embrace. Embrace His power, authority, kingdom and glory which He wants them to be displayed through us. Discard whatever characters and attitude that does not please Him. Love what He loves. Love who He loves. Display Jesus in our life.
Be EW2.
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